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Golden Rule

I have been thinking of this lately.   I understand the concept.  As a Muslim, we live by this rule.  A Muslim desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.   But here is my quandary…

I am finding it hard to find the words to properly express my question.   

An example might be an interaction between my SOMH and myself.   I am a cheerful morning person.   He is not.  I chat with him before school and get no reply.   If I were to apply the golden rule, do I continue to chit-chat with him or respect his wish to be left alone.  Treat others as YOU want to be treated.   I want conversation.   He is doing the same…he wants silence.  Both of us walk away frustrated if we both continue doing unto others as we want done to us.  See my confusion?

It can be exhausting when you do not get the return you are working for.   Who does the Golden Rule benefit?  Is it in place for our own peace of mind or is it supposed to be for the benefit of our interactions with others?  If for our own peace of mind, I presume I am not the only one whose heart hurts a little when treatment you get in return is not what you feel you are giving.   And if it is in place for the benefit of others, why are people so surprised when they get snappish response when it is how they speak to you?

P.S.  I’m only using the interaction between my SOMH and myself as an example…but that is not what prompted this.  


6 thoughts on “Golden Rule

  1. So that’s the challenge with the golden rule, it’s meant for you to be mindful of how you treat others, not hold them accountable for how they treat you in return. Thank you for the perspective though and a fair point. 🙂


    • Thank you. That makes sense, but I struggle with this only because if someone consistently treats you in a rude way, can we presume they are treating me as they wish to be treated? And if so, are we being disrespectful not to return the treatment they seem to want? I find that frustrating because it’s not my nature to be rude or unkind to anyone. I do realize I am twisting the idea of the Golden Rule and I agree the we need only be accountable to how we treat others.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It sounds like the problem is more in how you’re treated and not so much about how you treat others.

        That being said, if someone treats you poorly what do you do? You’re obviously not going to compromise your own standard to give it right back.

        But then what? A lot of times the only thing you can do with repetitive mistreatment is eliminate the problem which isn’t always easy depending on who they are to you, how empowered you feel, etc…

        I see where you’re coming from, answers aren’t always clear cut.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are absolutely right. I recently had a situation just like that and I did find myself compromising my behavior and ended up disgusted with the person this person had turned me into. She was eliminated from my circle and I am much happier. My blog was originally written because I was feeling like I always have to compromise but no one compromises for me. It was a selfish reaction to how I let someone get to me. I am much happier treating others the way we ALL should be treated…with human kindness and respect.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You know the funny thing is when we choose not to compromise our standards (which also assumes your intentions towards others is also good).

        These issues sort of take care of themselves.

        I feel like it’s because we can be stunned into disbelief that a person can put off such negativity so easily that we will make attempts to keep them in our lives because we don’t want it to be true.

        Then we can’t want it for them more than they want it for themselves I suppose.

        Liked by 1 person

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