It’s that time of year again. As a teen, I remember being very apprehensive as midnight drew closer. Undiagnosed anxiety. I still get apprehensive but now moreso because I feel another year has slipped by…as well as anxiety. It isn’t a bad anxiety per se but rather a “clean slate” anticipation. So many things I would like to do better, handle better. For some reason this clean slate is bigger than the clean slate that is each new day.
So what to work on….my focus. I need to get a handle on my constantly fluttering mind. I would like to wake up in the morning and not be midway through a deep conversation before I realize I am actually awake.
I need to work on that suitcase for the next stage in our journey. So much of our time is spent gathering material things when not one single material thing will benefit us in the Hereafter. Time to load that suitcase with the deeds that I can use on my scale.
I say this all the time, I need to make time for myself. I won’t but I said it.
Despite the horror in the world, I feel I was pretty blessed this year. I became an Amma for the second time and now have two beautiful grandsons. I had visits from both my girls and their families this year. I have relatively good health (I type that after a 24 hour bout with a ferocious stomach bug and a resulting migraine with horrific chest pains from wrenching), my family has relatively good health and we are slightly above water financially. I was blessed with a new job this summer that has made me feel like a team member again. I miss Mary from the last job, but we stay in touch regularly. I truly enjoy working with each person in the office. We added a new baby to the family.
The other babies are ok, but I think this may be Ajax’s last year with us. It seems his eyesight is going and so far it is still a struggle getting his thyroid regulated. Leo hates Crush and is acting out by possibly intentionally missing the litterbox. This has my husband fit to be tied and we now have three litter boxes for two cats. I think it is Ajax but one simply does not argue with my husband.
2017 is looking promising. My youngest has decided to go back to college…slowly…to take the courses needed to be a lactation consultant. Her husband is starting his engineering career. My older daughter seems quite content and her wise-beyond-years advice to me only gets better each year. My younger SOMH accepted admission to IUP. With the new incoming controversial president elect, it will be very interesting to see what happens.