Phytonutrients and Diabetes “M”

I love nutrition and the thought of nutritional healing for many ailments. I am currently listening to a college level course on nutrition for the 2nd time. Every chapter is beneficial but I'm specifically fascinated by phytonutrients – the benefits reaped from the color of the vegetable or fruit. For example, a dark red berry like acai would have the same nutrients as say, a cranberry or pomegranate. Each week I try choosing from the colors of the rainbow.

My salad toppings…red, green, yellow and orange bell peppers, fennel (from my garden this year) and carrots. I put a sprinkling of walnuts and cranberries on it as well and always look for the spring mix salad with its red and green salad leaves.

Earlier this year, my husband received the disappointing news that he can add diabetes to his hypertension and high cholesterol. At first he was depressed then angry. Now he has settled into acceptance but I have to say I still see resistance. He longs for "all the things he can never eat again" … pause to roll eyes. I have termed his diabetes type "M" for "man". Not unlike the "man" cold, everything is an ordeal. Having to check serving sizes and calories, sugars and fat, sodium and fiber. To counteract the drama, I spend one day every weekend preparing take and go containers of things he can eat.

Serving size nuts (low sodium) and cups of fresh fruit. Grab and go. I like doing this. He still whines. But at least I don't worry about him not eating at all.

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Struggling

I'm struggling. I shouldn't be but I am. Is it possible that anxiety is a living organism? If this is my brain causing all this commotion, why can't it focus on solving world problems instead of traumatizing me?! I have been working on accepting and acknowledging with the help of a brilliant therapist (ok she's my daughter and not a therapist, but should be). But it's like the anxiety refuses to back down. It is like it is waiting for me to go to my doctor, meet with my care team for them to give me the lecture on accepting and acknowledging the anxiety. Everything is compounding. My body hurts, I have ringing in my ears 24/7 and nothing I do makes it better, my right eye won't focus, and I have headaches daily. I can't stay awake for more than a few hours and I have no bouncy morning energy as I have had in the past. Who am I kidding, I have no energy at all. I'm overly sensitive to everything anyone says and feel that good old out of control apple cart feeling. Everything is heightened. And not in a good way. I'm overwhelmed and I just want to crawl in my special corner of my closet, under my long dresses and sit in silence. Only there is no silence. Just non-stop ringing in my ears.